How to release resentment after a conflict
❓ QUESTION:
I have been in a conflict with my colleagues at work. I am carrying a great deal of pain and resentment—six months have passed, the situation persists, and I cannot seem to let it go. Why am I obsessing over this suffering, replaying my grievances, and searching for new arguments to defend myself?
❗️ lee's ANSWER:
The reason is that while the mind is a complex instrument, it operates on a simple blueprint. At its foundation are beliefs. It is these hidden beliefs that generate your thoughts.
Thoughts do not arise as a "spontaneous, chaotic jumble." They follow the clear logic of a systemic process. First, beliefs establish the rhythm and direction of connections (the brain's core neural pathways), and then the flow of thought follows within that framework.
The issue cannot be resolved with a simple "stop your thoughts and just meditate." It requires observing and identifying patterns, followed by changing the beliefs themselves. I discussed this in detail during my webinar on the integration of negative beliefs.
The fact that you have noticed this "strange fixation" is a positive sign that your frequency is at a level where self-observation occurs naturally. Many people spend years stuck in thought cycles, never realizing they are going in circles.
Your cycle points to a belief system centered on protection and security. These beliefs force you to "protect yourself" by constantly re-analyzing the past situation. Consequently, you feel that if you find a solution in the past, it will shield you from your current circumstances.
In reality, however, your current state is ALREADY 100% resolving your challenges. Regardless of what happened in the past, your present "I am the one who..." creates the solution. Nothing more needs to be changed.
A shift in beliefs is exactly what creates a new "I am the one who...", a state where you affirm your identity and your new decision about yourself becomes the foundation for a new kind of thinking.
For example, if you decide that you are already a different person—one who is completely free from others' opinions and totally protected by the knowledge that you are the Sole Creator of your reality—you will see, literally by the next day, that your colleagues have radically changed their behavior toward you.
This means the transformation isn't just psychological—people actually change in practice. Witnessing this, you might say, "These are entirely different people." And you would be right—they truly would be different people, because you would find yourself in a different Universe.
This is why shifting your beliefs isn't a gimmick, a trick, or a psychological ploy—it is a change of reality.
