Valentine's Day is a time when many of us reflect on love and relationships. However, not everyone feels joy on this day. While some celebrate romantic feelings, others may feel disconnected or disappointed. In such cases, it can be helpful to turn to the practice of loving-kindness meditation, or metta, which helps establish a connection with oneself and others.
The History of the Holiday
Valentine's Day, which originated in medieval Europe in the 1300s, was initially dedicated to romantic love and the freedom to choose a partner. However, over time, the holiday became associated with commercial aspects: gifts, cards, and expensive dinners. Instead of focusing on the true essence of love, many get lost in the material values of this day.
What is Loving-Kindness?
Loving-kindness is a form of love celebrated by Buddhists around the world. It differs from romantic love in that it is unconditional and without expectations. The word "metta" in the ancient Pali language means "gentle" and "friend." It is a love that is given selflessly, without distinctions between "us" and "them," the deserving and the undeserving.
The Buddha teaches that even in difficult situations, we should express boundless love. In one of the early texts, he tells the story of monks who encountered spirits causing suffering to the villagers. Instead of conflict, the Buddha encourages them to show love and wish happiness for these spirits. As a result, the monks practiced loving-kindness meditation, and the spirits also changed their behavior.
How to Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation
Loving-kindness meditation begins with calming the mind and body through mindfulness practice. Here are several steps to perform this meditation:
1. Setting: Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
2. Mindfulness: Take several deep breaths, focusing on your breathing.
3. Wishes: Silently or aloud, repeat the following phrases:
• May I be filled with loving-kindness.
• May you be filled with loving-kindness.
• May they be filled with loving-kindness.
• May we be filled with loving-kindness.
Imagine the people to whom you want to send your kind wishes and feel the warmth and light emanating from your heart.
Conclusion
This Valentine's Day, try replacing traditional celebrations with the practice of loving-kindness meditation. This will help you connect with yourself and others, as well as experience the true essence of love — unconditional and selfless. Love can manifest in various forms, and metta meditation is one of the most powerful ways to feel it in your life.