Modern research increasingly points to the fact that parental perfectionism has a significant negative impact on children’s mental health. Parents’ relentless pursuit of perfection—both in themselves and in their children—can create an atmosphere of heightened pressure and criticism, which in turn contributes to the development of anxiety, depression, and other psychological problems in children.
A meta-analysis covering more than 23,000 students from the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom revealed a troubling trend: over the past three decades, children have increasingly reported perceiving parental criticism and overly high expectations. This rise coincides with an increase in parental perfectionism. Thomas Curran, Professor of Psychology at the London School of Economics, notes that such parental perfectionism can act as a trigger for the development of conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, and eating disorders in children.
Authoritarian parenting styles, characterized by high demands and strict control, are often associated with the formation of maladaptive perfectionism in children. This can lead to chronic stress and eating problems. Psychologists emphasize that children raised in such environments may experience a constant sense of insecurity, fear of mistakes and criticism, which negatively affects their self-esteem. They may begin to believe that their value depends directly on achievements and flawless performance, rather than on their personality as a whole.
Research also shows that perfectionist children tend to set unrealistically high standards for themselves. Failing to meet these standards provokes strong feelings of guilt and self-criticism, which may lead to avoiding difficult tasks or procrastinating out of fear of failure. In some cases, perfectionism can evolve into more serious psychological disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder.
To foster healthy psychological development in children, parents are encouraged to reconsider their parenting approaches. Instead of constant pressure and criticism, it is better to focus on supportive and realistic strategies. It is important to help children understand that they are loved and valued regardless of their achievements. Encouraging effort rather than just results, as well as creating an atmosphere where mistakes are seen as opportunities for learning rather than reasons for punishment, contributes to the development of a stable and healthy self-esteem in children.
It is important to remember that healthy perfectionism is the pursuit of self-improvement, not of an unattainable ideal that can damage a child’s mental well-being.